


Things Have Change

by Jamilton



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Hamilton - Miranda (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Confessions, Denial of Feelings, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Oblivious, Pining, Requited Love, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, They're just stupid, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-22 01:22:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16588061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jamilton/pseuds/Jamilton
Summary: Jefferson didn't share Alex's sudden hesitation. He glared, but didn't make any move to block his cuff from view. "Don't talk about my soulmate."





	1. This is Gospel

**Author's Note:**

> Cuffs basically look like glorified watches that can't tell the time. Naturally, because I'm lazy, they're color-coded.
> 
> Red - promised to someone else  
> Blue - not ready for a mate  
> Green - does not want a soulmate  
> Black - unrequited match  
> White - not ready for any romance  
> Yellow - privacy  
> 

~~~~It was on a Sunday night, when Alex was just nineteen, scarcely scraping together a cent, and John was twenty, his only friend in the damn world, and kind enough to let Alex temporarily crash his apartment. At that point, temporarily had quickly become several months, and Alex _loathed_ the way that felt; he was legally an adult, he could look after himself, but John insisted on him remaining for reasons beyond him.

John and Alex were lying side by side on a carpeted floor inside of a former living room turned make-shift bedroom. A comfortable silence surrounded them, save from the steady sound of breathing and the occasional movement. They had long since achieved the point of friendship where the silence around them was just as accepted as words would be, so both were content to let it fall. Alex heard John shuffle, so that he was facing Alex. Alex felt his eyes on him, but was relaxed enough to keep his eyes directed on the ceiling, watching the shadows slowly dance as the stars shift.

"Have you ever been curious?" John eventually asked, voice muted, as though he could avoid a fragile silence from breaking by softening his tone. It took Alex a second or so to work out what John was referring to. He frowned, and glanced down at his left arm, taking time to think through his answer.

The short, natural answer was that _yes_ , he had.

It was only natural to have some degree of curiosity, yet the social ideal attached to it was against all of Alex's ideals and values. Therefore, naturally, Alex wanted to hold himself above the idea, but regardless of what he believed, he was John's friend, and lying to him wouldn't be acceptable. Quietly, he muttered, "Yeah."

"Why don't you check?" John questioned immediately after Alex's answer, voice still maintaining the delicate pitch, unusually insistent on the matter. Alex sighed. He supposed that John had a good reason to be interested - he had only recently changed from a green cuff to a yellow one, showing that he had looked but and would therefore look to others to state their experience.

"The reason I won't check is the reason my cuff is green." Alex frowned at John's ceiling, and lifted up his left arm to pin it under better inspection. It was shrouded in darkness, a silhouette against shaded light, but that didn't stop Alex from tracing the shape of his cuff, knowing that on the skin underneath it bore the full name of his soulmate.

"I guess." John agreed lightly after a pensive pause of consideration, and they lapsed into another comfortable, familiar silence, one that Alex used for reflective thought. John's switch of cuff color wasn't unexpected. Like Alex, he thought that soulmates were complete bullshit, so John didn't place any expectations around the name he had on his wrist, and the yellow cuff in place was purely for privacy.

Alex stayed there for a few seconds, his eyes tracing the even, diamond pattern of John's ceiling. He heard John's breath even out, but he couldn't quite sleep, because - for once in his entire life - Alex seriously considered it.

It didn't have to mean anything. If he just checked, it would still remain the same name in ink tattooed against his skin, and nothing would change. At least, he tried to convince himself of this.

Yet Alex knew that once he found out, curiosity would get the better of him and he would find his soulmate. He would find his soulmate, and whoever they were could be looking for him and bought into the hype of soulmates and Alex didn't want to hurt someone that badly.

So, in a rare act of self control and forethought, he left his cuff as it was. He stood up, stretching his legs slightly, and retrieved a blanket for John to use.

After all, he hadn't felt the need to check his name throughout his entire life. He had lived this long without a soulmate, and he sure as hell didn't need one now.

 

 

**

 

 

"You've got mail." John cheerfully informed him as he passed. Alex glanced up, raising a curious eyebrow as John offered him a closed file. Alex took it without hesitation, before sparing one glance at the opening title and looking back at John.

"Tell me this isn't from him." Alex stated flatly, as though it could be from anyone else. John grinned, somehow amused by his deep disapproval, and leaned casually against Alex's desk. John's expression was enough of an answer, so with a loud, albeit slightly overdramatic sigh, he began to read.

All twenty-five pages of it.

John remained situated against his desk throughout the duration, getting increasingly amused at Alex's intensifying frustration to the point where he actually gave a bark of laughter at Alex's scoff.

"All bullshit, then?" John asked, raising an eyebrow innocently, as though he wasn't able to predict what could possibly be Alex's reaction. Alex gave a loud huff in response, tossing the damned file down on his desk without much ceremony.

"I want to set fire to it." Alex announced dryly, glaring at the paper, as though if he stared at it hard enough, it would spontaneously combust. Unfortunately, he had no such luck. "If he expects me to sign this, then he's finally lost the scrap of common sense he had."

A door somewhere to the right clicked open, catching both John and Alex's attention. Due to Alex's position at his desk, he was unable to see who it was, but John had no such issue, and shot Alex a mischievous grin. "You can tell him that, if you want."

"I will." Alex replied, a little defensive, as though John would actually doubt him when there was the proposition of an argument. Alex rolled his eyes at the sarcastic thumbs up he was given in response. He left his office and called loudly down the corridor, "Jefferson!"

"Oh, for _fuck's_ sake." The response he gained wasn't exactly positive, but he didn't expect it to be. As predicted, the person with him was Madison, as he was the only person that was miraculously able to cope with Jefferson for extended periods of time without gaining the strong desire to punch him.

"What the fuck is this?" Alex began, shoving the file against Jefferson's chest with more force than nessicary, which caused Jefferson to raise an eyebrow and give him a look of deep disdain. "You honestly expect me to approve of a document handing out money to couples just because they're soulmates?"

Jefferson offered a bland, slightly patronizing smile, taking the file from his hands. "Just bitch about whatever it is your little mind is pissed about, and then fuck off."

"You actually think soulmates have a right to free money just because they met each other?" Alex baited, knowing full well where he could direct the argument to if Jefferson followed through.

"No, soulmates have the right to afford a life together." Jefferson retorted, which made Alex narrow his eyes. Jefferson was known to have a thought process of ' _this isn't my state, so it isn't my problem_ ', which was ridiculous, though soulmates were the one topic he was liberal about. "I'm sorry that idea is beyond you, but I can't help the fact that I'm a romantic."

"Which is why you're wearing a blue cuff?" Alex asked, tilting his head slightly to the left and feeling a slight sense of satisfaction when Jefferson's eyes became a little colder and his jaw tensed. This was the easiest place to target - the fact that, despite being actively for soulmates, he hadn't even checked his own, and the blue cuff indicated not being prepared. This, naturally, could be used as a weapon. "Tell me, Jefferson, are you not ready for a soulmate because you're far too devoted to your own ego?"

"Hardly." Jefferson snapped, finally losing his dignified position. "At least I know my soulmate would want me. Green is just a way of saying you're scared of rejection."

Alex arched an eyebrow, crossing his arms, as though asking Jefferson if that was the only response he could give. Coolly, he stated, "I'd sooner save your life than sign that piece of shit."

"Whatever, Hamilton." Jefferson scowled. Alex took this as grudging defeat, and gave a slight smirk. "Move along, you've used up all of your rations of me giving a damn."

"I love our little talks, Thomas." Alex replied in a saccharin tone, just to watch Jefferson's glare turn stormy. Jefferson was prevented from retorting by Madison muttering something to him. He allowed Alex to have the last word, and therefore lost the argument.

When Alex turned, he was startled to see that he had gained the attention of the majority of the corridor, though most were looks of disapproval. John, however, contrasted to the majority, and was wearing a rather amused expression.

"A new record." John mused distantly from his position. Alex ignored him, because he already knew where this was going. John, of course, didn't avoid his expectations and he stated, "After a mere _twenty minutes_ of inhabiting the same building as him, you finally snapped."

"He was asking for a fight." Alex shrugged, unrepentant. John grinned, evidently agreeing, though his right hand adjusted his cuff, that was now a faded yellow after ten years of usage. It was an action that Alex noticed only occurred when John was feeling slightly anxious - it was the same response he received if he was too opinionated with Burr.

"What's bothering you?" Alex asked, which startled John. Evidently, he hadn't noticed that he was being obvious in his nervousness, and he offered Alex a small smile, before giving up on the innocent facade with a sigh.

"I know you don't take any of Jefferson's bullshit to heart, but what he said was harsh, even for him."

Alex frowned, considering John's words, before matching them to what Jefferson had said beforehand. John was only half right - Jefferson rarely used his green cuff as a weapon against Alex; in an uncommon display of empathy, he avoided using soulmates in his insults at all. However, the empathy was deeply limited and conditional, since he favoured mocking Alex's parentage and that got to Alex far more than he'd ever like to admit. Taking whatever Jefferson said seriously was trying to have a discussion with a two-year-old about the meaning of life.

"I don't think Jefferson can seriously offend me." Alex replied. John gave an unsure smile but chose to drop the subject, which Alex was thankful for. The conversation drifted into discussing what Alex's response to Jefferson's demands. A minute or so into the new line of discussion, Alex noticed Hercules and Lafayette approaching. Although, John didn't, which meant that, much to Lafayette's amusement, he startled when Lafayette clasped a friendly hand on his shoulder.

"Alex, was that loud shouting from you?" Hercules asked, as though he genuinely didn't know. Alex paused, trying to detect whether Hercules was immensely frustrated or merely annoyed, and glad when he appeared to be the latter.

"Might've been." Alex said, purposefully ambiguous, and providing a show of mock-offence when Hercules looked at him with mild exasperation, as though he knew Alex knew better, but due to the long list of past disappointments, lacked the spirit to care.

"Ah, so you have read his proposition, too?" Lafayette grinned, but he didn't need to ask, because Alex was sure the unimpressed look on his face stated quite clearly that he had.

"I'd hardly call it a proposition." Alex muttered, adjusting the cuff on his left wrist. "More like twenty five pages of unwavering bullshit."

"Washington might disagree." Hercules mused, watching Alex's movements before glancing down at his own, bright red cuff. It signified that, despite not knowing his soulmate, he was perfectly content in the relationship he has. Lafayette matched him. Alex could still remember the day when the office was left reeling when both changed from green to red on the same day, unofficially announcing their relationship to the rest of their co-workers.

Alex could particularly recall Burr choking on his water, then tripping over his own feet and proceeding to perform a spectacular impression of a goldfish.

"I know he might disagree. It's why I'm going to argue about it a week from now, when the bastard tries to get it through congress." Alex said, which caused both John and Hercules to groan. Alex felt rather indignant, so he crossed his arms as he spoke. "Don't act like that, I'm doing what's right."

"Well, last time when you were doing ' _what's right_ ', congress was in session for six hours." Hercules retorted easily. Lafayette muttered an agreement in French, equipped with enough sighing to fully get his point across.

"In Alex's defense, he did succeed." John offered, which caused Alex to nod in approval at discovering not all of his friends were traitors.

"What, in tiring anyone who resists him?" Hercules asked, arching an eyebrow. At Alex's affronted expression - one that quite clearly stated ' _you're wrong, and I'm not going to rest until you know it, too'_  - Hercules smiled, and raised his hands in mock placation. "I'm not saying I disagree, but I'd like to make it home before Christmas."

"I know." Alex gave a mumble of grudging agreement. The room lapsed into an easy silence, before Hercules left with the excuse of wanting to talk privately with Lafayette - _("There's probably a lot less talking going on, if you know what I mean," John stage whispered, causing Alex to laugh, Lafayette to suggestively wiggle his eyebrows and Hercules to swat at his arm)_ \- which left Alex and John having a conversation of why, in a fight, an octopus would beat a bear.

As soon as it rounded to roughly half past twelve, Alex began to glance around the area every so often, soon gaining John's attention, and he was quickly called out on it. "Normally, around this time, Jefferson comes in to complain at me about nothing for a while."

John grinned at the casual tone, before giving a slight sigh. "God, he's a twat. I wonder why Washington hired him."

"Tell me about it." Alex muttered in agreement. Logically, due to Washington being relatively middled in political affairs, it would make sense to have two polar opposites working close with each other. In practice, however, it was hell for all in a four-mile radius.

"Do you want to avoid Jefferson being an asshole for a while and go for some coffee with me?" John asked casually, crossing his arms. Alex gave a tired smile.

"I wish I had the time." He muttered, glancing down at the document open on his laptop  wryly.

"Fair enough." John shrugged, before moving so that he was no longer leant against Alex's desk. Too late, Alex realised that his words had sounded like dismissal, but before he left Alex's line of vision, John turned to face him. "Hey, call me up on that offer whenever, it'll be my treat."

For some reason, Alex felt as though he had missed something spectacularly obvious.

After work, the afternoon passed as it usually did; when Alex wasn't working on his laptop, drinking coffee, or having a severe existential crisis, John would be over his apartment because he insisted Alex had a better view. Alex hardly considered watching more sun-bleached buildings and cars 'a better view', but he wasn't one to question John's quirks.

They spent the time trying to have a debate, and quickly found that both of them agreed on every logical debatable topic, which meant that it was incredibly difficult to do so. John was far less frustrated by this than Alex.

 

 

**

 

 

Alex had started working in the White House at the surprisingly young age of twenty four, at the start of Washington's first term. Immediately, he was pinned under intense, unyeilding scrutiny; that he wasn't old enough, and speculating whispers circulated that he was possibly an illegitimate son of one one the high-up people. After all, what other reason would there be to employ someone fresh out of graduation?

It meant that, if Alex ever wanted to take a step forward, he would have to carry three times the weight of inspection than his colleagues, and Alex loathed it. Regardless, he gritted his teeth and continued to prove himself.

Two months into his job, he was told that he was ' _too young'_ to understand how banks worked. Alex had naturally retaliated with a speech that lasted over six hours.

By the end of it, his voice was rough, Burr looked close to tears, and the entire constitutional convention appeared as though they wanted to merely sign the document and never look at Alex again - but nobody left thinking that Alex was _'too young_ ' to understand anything.

His battle to the top was aggressive, quick, and painfully challenging. Since the infamous six-hour-long speech, the more senior staff of the White House were paying closer attention, beginning to worry about being replaced. After one year, he earned his current position, replacing Charles Lee and forever earning his scorn.

Then, Thomas Jefferson showed up.

Hurricanes always have indicators; the grey, stormy clouds, lashing rain, sharp winds and low temperatures. Yet, the day that Jefferson arrived was perfectly normal. Alex had settled, and had started socialising with similarly aged (if not slightly older) co-workers, had just made something of a friend out of the foreign affairs ambassador - Lafayette - when Jefferson appeared.

Worse yet; it was during a cabinet meeting. Jefferson strolled in, casual as anything, hands relaxed in pockets and a damnable smirk fixed on his face. Most people recognised the man for who he was, but some - like Alex, like Burr - couldn't quite place a name to a face. Alex fell silent at the sudden intrusion, pausing his retort against the idea that John Adams had to make it illegal to not know your soulmate by the age of eighteen, glancing warily at the stranger.

"Are you looking for someone?" Alex asked, sounding mildly frustrated at the unwanted interruption. Jefferson smirked - and damn it, at the time, Alex felt something in his chest flip  _hard_ at the sight of him, of the confidence he had, of soft eyes and of the calm intelligence that seemed to radiate.

"By all means, continue." Jefferson had drawled, eyes remaining on Alex for a few seconds before idly scanning the crowd. Something in being seemingly dismissed had made Alex feel overly on edge, for some reason, wanting to prove himself to a stranger who had uncaringly told him to continue. 

So, Alex did.

His contradiction lasted a grand total of twenty minutes, in which he raised the points that it was already taboo for children to look at their own marks before the age of sixteen, the fact that consensual relationships shouldn't be forged purely by law, and that some people bore unrequited matches.

After he had finished, a quick glance towards the stranger told him that he was being placed under critical examination. He swallowed against the feeling of slight satisfaction at having gained someone's undivided attention with his words, but with this came a slight nervousness - the stranger was damn near unreadable, so Alex awkwardly adjusted his cuff as though, subconsciously, he was trying to make himself more presentable.

"Is nobody else going to tell this man how shitty his argument was?" Jefferson had asked, head tilted slightly to the left with something that could almost be described as consideration. His eyes remained fixed on Alex, and Alex, never one to back away from a challenge, stared back.

Something in Alex had recoiled fiercely at the criticism, but outwardly, he remained cool. Almost warningly, Alex said, "If you've got something to say..."

"I will say it, since it seems that Charles Lee has misplaced a backbone, John Adams phrased his statement horribly, _painfully_ wrong, and I'm not entirely sure why Aaron Burr is here." Jefferson retorted. Instead of exerting deep offense like Adams and Lee were, Burr blinked before shrugging his shoulders, as though conceding that Jefferson had a point. Alex felt a strange, contrasting mix of both slight disappointment at the loss of a potential ally and the usual excitement at starting an argument.

Four hours later, when Washington decided that nothing productive was taking place (probably around the same time Alex insulted Jefferson's clothing and received an equally harsh remark back), the meeting was shortened to an end. Alex hid his disappointment at cutting a good argument short, making his way over to Lafayette and almost immediately regretted it.

"The sheer amount of sexual tension..." Lafayette grinned, then whistled loudly. Alex groaned, uncharacteristically embarrassed at one of Lafayette's more covert comments, torn between listing all the reasons on why that statement wasn't true or trying to nudge Lafayette's arm. He settled for the latter - somehow, Alex didn't want to needlessly start more debates, because he was sure that he wouldn't be able to keep up, as his mind was still fixed on his and Jefferson's interactions. Almost in mock sympathy, Lafayette clasped his shoulder. "You're not the first man to fall under Thomas Jefferson's charms."

"Hold up - _that's_ Thomas Jefferson?" Alex asked, eyes wide. He glanced behind him, finding that Jefferson was busy talking to Burr and Madison. His gaze seemed to continue, as he gained Jefferson's attention ( _and another damned smirk, as though Jefferson knew something Alex didn't_ ), he quickly turned to face Lafayette, only to find that he was being given an equally knowing look. "Well, that explains his arrogance."

"Oh, yes, _arrogant_ is the only thing you can think of to describe him him." Lafayette proceeded to put on a great show of thinking, the innuendo hanging in the air until Alex thought of an appropriate, less defensive response

"Disappointing is another word." Alex retorted, causing yet another speculative eyebrow wiggle. Unperturbed, Alex continued, "You'd think that someone held in such high esteem wouldn't be so easy to contridict."

"Funny, I was about to say the same thing." An unfortunately recognizable voice drawled lazily from behind him, causing Alex to scowl.

"Thomas, it's good to see you again." Lafayette announced, standing up to properly greet Jefferson. Just like that, all of a sudden, Alex was kicked from the conversation, since they decided that speaking in French was easier than English or Spanish. Alex could make sense of some words, before deciding that it wasn't worth the trouble and he didn't particularly want to listen to whatever Jefferson was saying.

Alex waited for the crowd leaving the cabinet room to disperse before leaving, but not quick enough to hear Washington lament, "I thought they would get along."

Lafayette, the traitor, laughed brightly. "Trust me, they are."

 

 

**

 

 

Alex had always thought that Jefferson not showing up to work would easily create a good day, filled with finishing his work instead instead having to focus on the damn bastard regularly appearing to throw an insult. However, instead, he was left impatient, tense, waiting for something to happen. He decided that his distraction was due to change, and Jefferson's lack of appearance was notable due to how often he pissed Alex off and the ridiculously purple ( _"Magenta, Hamilton, you uncultured bastard_ ,") clothing that was undoubtedly worn to show off.

After overhearing a conversation - and refusing to admit that it was arguably laughable at him trying to listen to conversations about his enemy - Alex was able to work out that Jefferson was out of work due to a _migraine_ , of all things.

"I'd have a migraine too, if Hamilton talked to me as much as possible." Seabury muttered, which caused Madison to give an uneasy sigh. The exchange continued for a few more seconds, but Alex was too far away to make sense of anything.

The day continued without much incident - Alex was searching for someone else to argue with, and the people he found were either uninterested or agreed with Alex far too much to be remotely engaging. Burr, to his credit, gave it a shot, before deciding that he had made a grave, horrible mistake.

The only person that seemed to pick up on his unease and the reason for it was Lafayette, who offered a slight smile and tapped his shoulder when Alex would glance at his door, searching for someone that he would rather die than admit he was looking for.

The next day followed the same pattern; Jefferson was still out of work, and Alex was beginning to get impatient - Jefferson equalled him in stubbornness and refusal to allow something as trivial as physical health get in the way of work. The day passed usually, with far less arguments or debates than Alex was used to. Hell, Alex was tempted to hunt Jefferson down and complain at him until he returned to work.

The following day, however, was far less conventional, because _s_ _omething_ had happened.

Alex couldn't tell what it was, or who was involved, but the atmosphere had shifted. Tense, loaded pauses fell between cautiously calculated conversations; even Angelica, someone known to make her own path, was similar to his hushed colleagues. Alex tried to ignore this as much as possible, refusing to linger on the negative feel. Lafayette, of course, was the complete opposite, and found that it was his self-appointed mission to discover what was going on.

Fortunately, Jefferson had returned to work, and it didn't take an intelligent man to put one-and-one together. Jefferson's return was mostly rumoured, and only confirmed when Eliza swore that she saw him enter his office.

The silence from Jefferson only lasted for a few more hours. The factor to this being true was that before passing documents up for Washington to read, Jefferson had to have Alex's signature, and vice-versa. Usually when dropping off a document, Jefferson would throw an insult at Alex's clothing, or his finances. However, today, the document was merely tossed onto his desk before Jefferson moved to leave.

"Hey!" Alex called after him, mildly indignant, standing up with his palms placed on his desk. Jefferson paused, turned to face him, he had his arms crossed and lips thinned. Alex blinked, immediately noticing a critical difference. He awkwardly offered, "That's a drastic change of appearance."

Jefferson didn't share Alex's sudden hesitation. He glared, but didn't make any move to block his cuff from view. "Don't talk about my soulmate."

"Didn't even mention the word." Alex shrugged, though his eyes remained on the new cuff for a long time. He glanced up, meeting Jefferson's eyes, feeling extremely out of his depth. He swallowed, wanting to say more on the matter but finding himself very unsure of how to start. "You've got my interest."

This was probably the wrong thing to say, judging by how Jefferson's glare darkened. Thankfully, he hadn't left the area yet, most likely out of sheer stubbornness, so Alex was still left with a chance to find out more. "I never asked for your interest."

"Well, you've got it, so tough luck. Why do you have a black cuff? You are aware that they're used for-"

"-unrequited bonds?" Jefferson interrupted sharply, looking as though he deeply, _deeply_ hated Alex at that moment. The sheer force of his glare made Alex want to take a step back, but he refused to do so. "Yes, Hamilton, I'm perfectly aware."

Alex grimaced. He knew full well that he could have phrased several things in that conversation far better than he had, and Jefferson obviously seemed to agree. Alex didn't want to say what he was about to say, but he had to in order to clear his conscience. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Jefferson acted as though he didn't hear Alex, not even pausing at his words. As soon as Jefferson had left, Alex gave a small sigh. At least he now knew why the office was so tense, though he almost wished he didn't. Alex certainly hated Jefferson, and knew that soulmates were bullshit, but a black cuff was something only a sociopath would wish on others.

John, however, promptly disrupted a sombre, reflective mood by running full force down the corridor. Then, he seemed to realise that he had passed Alex's office, and hastily backed up, before quickly approaching Alex's desk and loudly demanded, "Did you see Jefferson?"

"Yeah, he has a black cuff." Alex replied, which caused John's eyes to widen slightly. A pause filled a gap between them, in which Alex tried not to think about Jefferson, or cuffs, or soulmates.

"Fucking hell, so Lafayette _was_ right." John gave a low whistle, shaking his head out of apparent disapproval. "Is it someone straight?"

"I don't know, he didn't say. Do you think he'll switch to a yellow cuff?" Alex asked. John frowned, considering the question for a while.

"I don't think so." He eventually said, his tone far lighter than it had ever been when discussing Jefferson. "If he doesn't try something with whoever it is, he'll wear it for the rest of his life. He takes shit like this seriously."

Well, _fuck_.

Even though Alex detested Jefferson without question, he would never ask for this situation to happen to _anyone_. "Do you think it was my fault he looked?"

"No." John immediately disagreed, sure of himself, before freezing, eyes widening comically, as though he had just accidentally revealed confidential information. He tried to play it off, as though Alex was going to be fooled by a forced smile and an attempt at seeming laid back. Eventually, "I'm going to have to explain, aren't I?"

 _Yes_.

"I'd like you to, yeah." Alex shrugged, attempting to seem equally laid back and failing so firmly that even he wore an expression of distaste. John, however, seemed more amused than unimpressed.

"Yesterday, Jefferson might've seen the name on my wrist, and - well, he didn't think I had looked at who my soulmate was, and he asked what it was like to know." John had rushed his words, as though, the quicker he said this, the easier it'd be. Alex blinked, trying to keep up with the rapid words and surprisingly being quite capable of doing so.

"What did you tell him?" Alex asked, frowning, and trying not to feel offended. John had been his best friend for over twelve years, it was vaguely insulting to ask after Jefferson knowing, and not him, even if it was by mistake. 

"I'm going to sound stupid." John warned, and Alex wisely decided to bite back the retort of John only _now_ sounding stupid. "Knowing who your soulmate is - It's like a sense of completion and finding a part of you that you already knew but didn't quite catch. It's familiar and foreign at the same time."

He blinked. Alex reflected on John's words several times, trying to make more sense of it, before quietly stating, "I didn't know it was like that."

"It's different for every person, but it was like that for me." John offered, a shrug being carried through his words. Alex gave a word or so of agreement, before carefully examinating his own cuff.

John sensed where his line of thought was going, and looked at Alex out of deep curiosity. Alex stopped tracing the edges, looking away from faded green and trying to ignore the vague sense of guilt at being caught looking at his cuff. The question in his eyes was evident, because John had always stated his interest in Alex's soulmate, but he left the question to hang in the air which Alex ignored.

Alex passed a few minutes or so holding up a conversation with John, though he couldn't focus on the words that were said. He would glance down at his own cuff, before back up, and trying to pretend that the impulsive desire to look at the name placed on his wrist had nothing to do with Jefferson. John seemed to sense that any conversation with Alex would be difficult to maintain, and after a few more minutes of attempt, he gave up and left with a slight smile in place of a goodbye.

A few hours passed with little interruption. After a while on his own, he was able to return the atmosphere to one of mild frustration and tiredness. At least, it was better than the tension. He ended up deciding it was a good idea to pause in working to try and beat his record in stacking pencils (and, later, pens, since he didn't have that many pencils) in an uneven square shape. When he eventually failed at the impressive height of twenty seven pencils upwards, sending pens and pencils alike cheerfully cascading off his desk, he had to pause.

Procrastination was such a harsh word, but in moments like these, desk covered by over seventy pens and pencils and a scarily dwindling caffeine supply, Alex had to wonder if that harsh word was suitably directed at him. It seemed that today had a false start, and now Alex's mindset was set for the rest of the day.

He tried to work out _exactly_ what he was doing, ignoring the sheer amount of pencils sprawled across his desk.

"If you think too much, Hamilton, your mind will expload." A lazy drawl mused. Alex startled, accidently causing a handful of pencils to gracelessly slide to the floor. When he looked up, he saw Jefferson in a more familiar light; arrogant, loud, annoying, and nothing akin to the defeated exhaustion he had seen earlier today.

Alex didn't know why he felt so relieved. Instead of immediately commenting on the attitude change, he tilted his head slightly. "It's nice to see that the unofficial leader of the democratic republicans is deeply well informed about medical affairs."

"Only the best from Virginia, immigrant." Jefferson smirked in response, causing Alex to scoff.

"If you're the best, then why don't we turn all of Virginia into a car park?" He quipped. Jefferson glared at Alex for this, even though Alex was well aware that he had given a good, rather amusing comeback.

"I'm going to tell Washington you said that." Jefferson retorted, and Alex had to bite back a surprised laugh. Jefferson seemed equally surprised at the positive reaction he received from Alex, and they both paused, exchanging confused looks.

"Nice to see the storm has passed." Alex offered, which caused Jefferson to give an incredibly dramatic sigh.

"You're the only normal one here." He scowled, as though this was Alex's fault. "Burr looks as though he's at my funeral, all of the Schuyler sisters suddenly have an abundance of female friends that they'd like me to meet, and if Adams says that there is ' _plenty more fish_ ' one more time, I will personally throw him out of a window."

"Don't hesitate." Alex suggested, tone dry. "Throw Adams out of a window, and do us all a favor."

"What, so he can complain about the windows breaking because they were imported?" Jefferson inquired, mockingly polite, and Alex didn't even try to hold back the laugh that came from this comment.

"When did you grow a sense of humor?" Alex asked, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. Jefferson looked relatively unimpressed with this question.

Flatly, "I didn't."

Alex gave a small huff of amusement. "What's up with the mood change?"

At this, Jefferson gave a slight smile. Alex was greatly taken aback; Jefferson's smiles were purely reserved for Madison, and witnessing one would be like witnessing Angelica and Eliza have a serious argument. Jefferson offered wryly, "Lafayette is painfully, _agonizingly_ , horribly blunt."

Alex could hear footsteps pacing down the corridor. He immediately placed the stepping pattern as Burr's, and, as usual, was slightly bewildered as to how he made his _steps_ sound cautious and unsure.

"Hey, Thomas." Burr called. Jefferson sighed, muttering something his breath that Alex was vaguely able to recognise as a mixture between French and English. As Burr approached, the swearing stopped, though Jefferson made no effort to seem as though Burr was welcomed. "I'm here, if you need to talk about anything."

"Thanks." Jefferson stated flatly.

"I mean it." Burr said, tone serious.

"I know."

 _Well, that wasn't awkward_.

To make things worse, Burr gave Jefferson a thumbs-up, and Alex both wanted to pretend this event never happened and wish that he had a camera on hand to record it.

"Hamilton, you get the gasoline, and I'll get the matches." Jefferson muttered as soon as Burr had left, pinching the bridge of his nose. Alex rolled his eyes.

"Cheap bastard. We both know gasoline is more expensive than matches." He replied, and Thomas Jefferson, his known enemy and someone he will battle to the death with, honest-to-God _laughed_.

When Jefferson moved to leave, Alex kept a careful watch on his movements, trying to avoid the fact that when he and Jefferson weren't trying to kill each other, he could be surprisingly - _decent_.

Thankfully, that changed soon.

"By the way, Hamilton?"

"What?"

"This conversation never happened."

Alex almost got whiplash on how suddenly Jefferson's attitude towards him had changed. He looked at Jefferson with exaggerated innocence. "What never happened?"

Afterwards, he was able to type out a decent amount of four pages against Jefferson's proposition for soulmate financial support. Hercules, Lafayette, and John one again opted to start a mother's meeting besides him, one that Alex paid vague attention to, not really caring. Especially when John insisted on changing the text font of his response to the dreaded  _comic sans_.

What did draw his attention, however, was this:

"We've decided we're going to check." Hercules announced, voice careful. He looked at Lafayette, offering a slight smile. Alex glanced up, shocked, an expression almost exactly mirrored by John.

"It doesn't matter what the name says." Lafayette added, nodding importantly. John let out a low whistle, glancing between the pair with unguarded fascination. "We're just going to check out of curiosity, _c'est interessant, non_?"

"When?" John asked, sounding rather excited. The questions that both of them had were easily answered, but since this was incredibly personal, all four agreed that it was best for Lafayette and Hercules to do this alone, then report with whatever results they have. Despite their conviction, it was evident that both were nervous. Soulmates were serious topics, and relationships form and break due to it.

After work, Alex headed straight for his apartment, John in tow, and they waited. Both were too tense to even try and attempt work, so an awkward card game commenced. Eventually, this was discarded, too, and they sat in silence. Alex was reminded of the night ten years ago, of the comfortable friendship he could relax in.

John was watching him, so Alex sent him a look of mild curiosity. Both knew what the other was thinking, mostly due to it being the same topic. Eventually, John said, "This doesn't mean you have to look at your cuff."

"I know." Alex agreed, but John didn't seem to think that Alex was fully convinced. At this, Alex frowned. "Don't you want me to know who my soulmate is?"

"Of course I do, but I want it to be your choice." John insisted, eyes wide. "Not because all of your friends are beginning to find out."

"And Jefferson's found out about his." Alex added, his hand tracing along his cuff. Another pause fell, in which John was turned to face Alex, looking to the world like someone who had a else to say. Before John could reply, however, the door was knocked. Both jolted upright, exchanging glances, before Alex lunged to open the door forward.

Alex could tell straight away by the matching expressions what had happened - vague disappointment, but a steely determination that meant this would not change anything.


	2. Build God, Then We'll Talk

Alex blamed Lafayette for how he had to head to work with a hangover. He was the only one out of the four who chose to swallow against what he had dubbed to be the world's worst headache and walk into work. Alex might've snapped at Burr far harsher than usual on the way in, but Alex supposed it was obvious he felt like death warmed over, so he decided it was Burr's fault he tried to approach Alex and discuss fucking _staplers,_ of all things.

Alex also might've threatened to throw a stapler at Burr's head, so he supposed that this was most likely the reason Burr was now avoiding him like he was the plague.

During the day, Jefferson had strolled by his desk twice for seemingly no other reason but for sending a few, choiced insults. Alex, despite his hangover, would never fail to retort, sometimes holding up stationary in an attempt to intimidate. In response, however, he would earn a look of something akin to pity. In the days passing, when his friends rejoinded the land of the working man once more, insulting Jefferson became something of a habit.

In the month leading up to the cabinet debate, Alex would provoke Jefferson as much as possible. He had no idea why it was as entertaining as it was - maybe his hatred of Jefferson was so deeply engrained in him, he was able to take amusement out of his anger - but regardless, Alex would bait Jefferson into an argument. Jefferson would rarely disappoint, which meant that Alex would spend most of the day shouting and ended up with a rough voice.

Unfortunately, the damn bastard had started to adapt to Alex, and no longer needed to shout to get his point across. Jefferson began developing the ability to respond to his anger with calmness, and he was convinced Jefferson was doing this just to piss Alex off even more.

Strangely enough, the topic that Alex steered clear of was the very one that he and Jefferson would be debating in a month or so from then. Soulmates were still a temporarily tabooed topic around the office, one that even the graceless Charles Lee avoided. Jefferson, as usual, picked up on the sudden shift in conversations and ignored social etiquette.

"Have you ever looked?" Jefferson asked one day, staring at Alex with an intent frown, seemingly uncaring as he cut off Alex's sentence. Alex scowled, muttering about insociable Virginians, before actually associating the words. Automatically, Alex glanced down at Jefferson's cuff - still black - before matching his frown.

"That's a personal question." Alex stated defensively, tilting his head slightly to the left, crossing his arms. Jefferson rolled his eyes, not replying until Alex grudgingly elaborated. "No, I haven't."

"Why not?" Jefferson pressed. Alex felt a small feeling of frustration, since it meant that Jefferson had genuinely not listened to a word he had said throughout the six years of working together. Sensing his frustration, and correctly placing it, Jefferson sighed. "I asked why haven't you looked, not why you _think_ you shouldn't look."

"I don't want a soulmate." Alex replied, albeit vaguely offended. At this, Jefferson looked at him in consideration. Alex met his eyes, as though in doing so he was proving something. A brief quiet fell, and Alex tried to pretend not to notice the golden flicks against pale brown irises. However, it appeared that Jefferson had worked out exactly what to say, and he leaned into Alex's personal space, equipped with a slightly victorious smirk. Out of stubbornness, Alex remained where he was. 

They were close enough to eachother that they shared air. Jefferson whispered, "Do you want to know what I think?"

 _Not really, but you're going to tell me anyway_.

"I think you're scared." Jefferson continued, the corner of his lips shifted slightly upwards in his usual damn smirk. Alex narrowed his eyes, trying to read his expression but finding that Jefferson was completely impassive. "Though, you aren't scared of rejection, are you? You're scared that, once you find who your soulmate is, you'll forsake all of your values."

Alex inwardly flinched, hating how near Jefferson was to the mark. Regardless, he remained as calm as possible and retorted, "I'm able to separate my personal life from my work."

"From what I've heard, you have no personal life." Jefferson quipped. It took Alex a handful of seconds to work out what that meant.

  _Damn it, Lafayette_.

"You're such a dick, Jefferson." Alex snapped. Jefferson's look of triumph increased tenfold; he leaned back, still smirking, and merely gave Alex a look in response. Alex huffed, raking a hand through his hair.

"I'll see you around, Hamilton." Jefferson mused, and Alex carefully watched him leave. Once he was sure that Jefferson was gone, he was left with the loud quietness.

 

 

**

 

 

The next day, Alex changed from a green cuff to a blue cuff, and refused to acknowledge the fact that Jefferson had something to do with this.

 

 

**

 

 

John was the first out of the three of his friends to notice the color change. He had paused, mid-sentence, eyes wide and shoulders sharply tensed. However, John avoided even referring to it though he occasionally sent Alex a slight smile.

Lafayette noticed after John, and he grinned to himself, muttering in French whilst shaking his head. Alex wasn't entirely sure if Hercules picked up on the change, since he didn't react, Alex couldn't be entirely sure.

During work, there was barely any difference. Alex merely garnered a few curious looks from most. Jefferson, however, took a mere second to notice the change, before he quietly asked, "Can you hear that?"

Alex exhaled forcefully, turning on his heel, and flatly demanded, "What now, Jefferson?"

"One second, shut up, I can't quite tell." Jefferson held a hand up, frowning as he glanced around him. Alex followed his gaze, frowning, unsure of what he was supposed to hear. "Is it -  _surely not_  - the undeniable sound of hypocrisy?"

Alex glowered. He moved to leave, crossing his arms as he stepped. However, Alex didn't get that far before he was stopped. Jefferson had smoothly placed his hand flat against the wall before Alex could take too many steps before Jefferson's arm blocked him. Alex scowled, turning to glare at Jefferson, only to be matched with a smirk. "I thought you said that blue cuffs were for people that are dedicated to their own ego."

"Fuck off, I said thay about you, not as a general statement." Alex huffed, opting to avoid pointing out that blue cuffs were for people that weren't prepared for a soulmates.

Dryly, "Yes, I believe you."

"You're an asshole." Alex replied, almost mockingly polite. Jefferson offered a slight smile, one that was unseperatingly mocking and genuine. Alex bit sharply down on his lip so he wouldn't return it.

"I never said I wasn't." Jefferson retorted lightly, looking as haughty as ever. Alex scoffed, pushing past Jefferson, and ignoring the warmth of Jefferson's chest against his hand.

As he walked away, Alex couldn't drop the inexplicable grin he wore, even if he was alarming Burr. The debriefing lasted for half an hour or so, in which the final date for the cabinet meeting had been settled ( _tomorrow, on the nineth_ ).

Throughout the meeting, he kept glancing down at his new cuff, the color strange against his wrist and feeling as though it was too warm against his skin. He kept on adjusting it, which went around smoothly but didn't move from where it was positioned.

He tried to snap out of it and ignore his cuff, but it didn't seem to work. He refused to look at the name, since his stubbornness was mostly out of pride. Which was how, immediately after the meeting, he headed straight after Hercules and explained as much as he could - avoiding the fact that the sudden shift was due to something that  _Jefferson_  had said.

"So." Hercules began, eyebrows raised to the heavens. He placed his hands against his face, frowning, looking as though nothing would please him more than working out what sort of things Alex was thinking. Truthfully, Alex was wondering the same thing. "You want me to look at your soulmate's name, but not tell you who it is?"

"I just need someone to know." Alex shrugged, as though it was a perfectly normal request.

"Why not John?" Hercules deflected easily. Alex cringed, not wanting to talk badly of his friend but seeing no other option.

"He can't hold a secret to save his life." Alex replied slowly, carefully. Hercules opened his mouth, as though he was about to contradict, but seemed to only just refrain from doing so. "Lafayette's worse."

"Fair enough." Hercules eventually agreed. Alex felt something wrap like a vice around his throat. Carefully, he glanced around a vacant corridor, trying to ignore how it felt like he was carrying an illegal narcotics deal.

He removed his cuff, which fell loose easily when he shifted it just so. He glanced up at Hercules, who was watching him with nervous curiosity. Hercules took his wrist, before his nervousness shifted into a frown.

Despite ( _attempting to_ ) never worry about his soulmate, all of the worst case scenarios flashed to the forefront of his mind - everyone in the world had a soulmate, even if they were diagnosed narcissists, who bore their own names. He began to panick that maybe he was somehow the exception, so he tried to calm his frayed nerves and ask, "What is it?"

"Alex..." Hercules sighed. He hadn't recoiled, looked confused or appear even remotely pitying. Instead, there was a worn exasperation. "I  _really_  can't say I'm surprised."

"Damn it, now I want to know." Alex risked a glance at his arm, only to have the cuff back and blocking his vision. Hercules frowned at him, almost sternly, and Alex was eerily reminded of Washington.

"Hey, I promised you I wouldn't let you look." Hercules reminded sharply, sharply an expectant eyebrow. Mentally cursing his past self, he tried to level his friend with a frown of his own.

"It's my soulmate." Alex argued.

"No."

"But-"

" _No_."

"Herc."

"Young man, don't you even try to ' _Herc_ ' me." Hercules interrupted firmly, and Alex almost recoiled at how  _old_  Hercules had just sounded. All of a sudden, Alex was reminded of the fact that Hercules was six years his senior. "Soulmates are serious. Until you're ready to commit fully to someone, you shouldn't look."

Naturally, Hercules was right. Even if Hercules wasn't Lafayette's soulmate, they were committed, and it would take a lot more than a name against skin to separate them. Rather defensively, and mostly as a token argument, Alex muttered. "It's my soulmate."

"It's not some name on your wrist, Alexander. It's a person; a living, breathing person, and you need to recognise that."  Hercules retorted. Alex wanted nothing more than to shift backwards, and avoid how  _serious_  Hercules was being. Almost as an afterthought, Hercules added, "I'm not going to stop you."

The pause that landed was amazingly awkward. Alex was left feeling like a scolded child despite soon approaching the bold age of thirty. "Damn it, why'd you play to my morals?"

"I think you need a serious, open discussion with John about this." Hercules answered, completely disregarding Alex's question.

Strangely, Alex was immediately bombarded with the strange image of him and John Adams sitting down, drinking imported wine and discussing his soulmate over dinner, equipped with flickering candlelight. "Which one?"

"John Laurens." Hercules looked blankly at Alex for several seconds, before shaking his head as though he was trying to physically reject trying to make sense of Alex's apparent quirks.

Feeling slightly alarmed, Alex began, "Is he...-"

"He's not your soulmate." Hercules stated slowly. Alex sighed in relief. John was his best friend and a brother to him, and the thought of dating caused Alex to frown uneasily.

"Right." Alex agreed. It was a stupid thought to have. The most he could gain from Hercules was that he wasn't surprised - therefore, his soulmate was male - and that both Hercules and Alex already knew him.

He dismissed the thoughts of investigation - he had better things to do than chase after a man that he probably wouldn't be interested in. The prospects of a cabinet meeting was close in the horizon, and Alex refused to distract himself any further.

So, he settled for saying a quick ' _goodbye_ ' to Hercules, and headed off to his desk to revise his notes. This was a meeting he couldn't afford to loose, so he was going to be as confident and persuasive as possible. Things like rest and nutrition could wait, because Alex was going to change the United States.

Unfortunately, Hercules and Lafayette caught onto his prioritization, and loudly objected, eventually peer pressuring Alex into grudgingly eating a sandwich and taking an entire  _thirty minutes_  of break. The break room was a rather unusual sight - he rarely entered, and when he did, it was to look for someone.

Naturally, he gained a large amount of interest. He scanned the room, heart stopping for a second when he made eye contact with Jefferson. Around him was his usual friend ( _Madison_ ) and followers ( _Burr, Lee, Adams_ ).

"He  _lives_." Jefferson mused loudly, still holding eye contact. Alex wasn't sure what made him continue to stare, but it sure as hell wasn't out of challenge.

"He doesn't look particularly alive." Lee mock-whispered, causing Adams to give a short, harsh bark of laughter. Madison rolled his eyes, Burr looked vaguely uncomfortable, but Jefferson seemed almost disapproving.

"Don't insult Hamilton, he's finally learning how to breathe between writing." Jefferson said in mock offense, crossing his arms, though the slight smile gave him away.

" _Oui, ne l'insultez pas_." Madison said, eyes wide, seemingly in earnest agreement, before tapping Jefferson's shoulder importantly. " _C'est son travail._ "

Lafayette snorted.

Alex looked sharply at him for translation, but found that he was busy laughing, leaning into Hercules to try and find something to help him recover. This wasn't particularly helpful.

"I'm glad you all care." Alex gave a saccharin smile, before backing subtly towards the door. "Yet, as touched as I am, I'm going to have to leave your company."

Jefferson stood up quickly. "Hey, just cause they're being assholes-"

"Hey!" Lee protested.

"Hypocrisy." Adams muttered.

Jefferson ignored them both in favour of continuing his sentence. "-doesn't mean you have to go."

This seemed to get Madison's attention, and he finally glanced up from his phone. Rather significantly, he glared between Adams and Lee, then added, "I promise that I'll make them be on their best behaviour."

Adams and Lee exchanged serious looks. Obviously, this somehow meant something to them, and they both suddenly gained an unwavering interest in both the ceiling and floor.

"Oh, James just made a promise!" Lafayette gasped, grinning brightly as though he had just sealed Alex's fate. " _Mon cher,_  that never happens."

Alex glanced around the room. The Schuyler sisters had paused in whatever exchange they were having to watch for his response. Lafayette and Madison were looking at him imploringly, whereas Jefferson merely appeared mildly interested. 

Defeated, "I have no choice, do I?"

"No." Hercules, Lafayette, and Madison agreed at the same time.

This was how he spent twenty minutes in a rather unfamiliar setting, talking to Jefferson (or arguing, but everything is relative) about why green was a better color than purple. The rest of the room seemed to be a varied mixture of interest, amusement, or frustration.

For some reason, Madison had insisted that he, Hercules, and Lafayette join their table despite at least two of the memebers of his group disliking Alex. After the impromptu lunch break ended, Alex was left in relative peace, his parent-friends now appeased that he hadn't spent too long working.

Jefferson had decided to continue on their argument, walking back to Alex's office with him. Alex felt a slight electricity spark in his veins at having Jefferson walk close to him, close enough so he could smell subtle, sandalwood cologne and feel his body heat. Alex tried to focus on Jefferson's words, but his thoughts were stupidly distracting, to the point where Alex had glanced at Jefferson's lips and wondered how it would feel for Alex to press his lips against Jefferson's.

As soon as Alex noticed what he was doing, he looked away.

 _What the everloving_ fuck _was that_?

Thankfully, Jefferson didn't seem to notice his embarrassment at the temporary, singular glitch. They continued the argument, Alex suddenly discovering that the floor required immediate inspection. Jefferson, however, had frustratingly poor timing; as soon as they were approaching Alex's area, he spared a particularly heinous comment, so particularly wrong that another hour was spent arguing with Jefferson about  _colors_ , of all things.

After finally ending the argument, primarily due to Burr genuinely raising his voice (and Alex laughing too hard to even try and continue arguing), Alex left for his desk, settling back into the comfortable habit of work. 

Hours passed. Both Lafayette and Hercules messaged him to inform him that they were leaving, and Jefferson spared parting advice in the form of a snide remark - " _maybe if you slept earlier instead of working so late, you'd look less like caffeine is your only hope,_ " - and Alex replied with one of his own.

The solitary was rather common yet nonetheless uncomfortable - as much as he disliked to admit it, having other people around him always sharpened his thoughts. A slight chill ran through the office, but Alex chose to ignore it. Darkness quickly fell outside, and he had forgotten about his coffee. This meant that when he did remember it, it was cold and rather unpleasant. Eventually, he got into a rhythm, and edited his full speech. This was why the knocking against his desk startled him so strongly. 

Alex blinked, surprised to find that it was John. A few seconds passed - something felt off, and he couldn't place it. The darkness had shaded in most of John's expressions with shadows, and though Alex squinted, he couldn't quite see his exact emotions. "Hey, I haven't seen you 'round today."

"I guess." John shrugged, glancing down at the carpeted floor, before fixing Alex a firm look. It was the sort of look Alex would get if he was acting too argumentative, or if he had accidentally offended someone. Immediately, Alex tried to sort through all of the morally ambiguous things he had done, but came up empty-handed. He had no idea where the conversation was going to go, and this was obvious, so John clued him in. "So, Herc knows who your soulmate is."

Alex blinked, stunned at the direct line of conversation and feeling a slight sense of betrayal at Hercules so quickly telling the others. John saw his surprise, and Alex watched something in John's resolve weaken. This moved Alex to action, and rather belatedly, he said, "Yeah."

"And it isn't me." John continued, the ghost of a smile placed waveringly in his face. Something about this conversation - the atmosphere, the words, the way Alex was being looked at - felt as though there was a deeper, hidden meaning just beyond Alex's grasp.

"No." Alex confirmed, putting serious emphasis on watching John's reaction. John gave a tiny frown, before he seemed to bite the inside of his cheek and his expression became a bit more difficult to read. Alex was slowly beginning to work this out, and the answer caused his mind to go alarmingly blank. "Why?"

"Put one and one together, Alex."

Alex's blood froze at the confirmation.

 _No_.

"I can't-" Alex began, rushed, frantic, looking for any other reason than the one that was painfully obvious. John gave a rueful smile, not even bothering to speak his contridiction. " _John_ -"

"Don't start with that tone." John tried to give a more honest smile but missed the mark by several meters. "I guess I always kinda knew yours wouldn't be me. It's okay."

"No, it isn't." Alex said sharply, still frantic, feeling a deep sense of anxiety mercilessly claw at his chest. All he could think of was revolving in a loop.

"Yeah, you're right." John agreed flatly, almost bitterly. The sound of this drove a shard of ice through him; John is his  _best friend_ , and however indirectly,  _Alex_  had caused this. "There's not really anything we can do about it, though."

"I..." Alex, nuch to his dismay, had no solution. There was nothing he could do to immediately correct this, and both he and John knew it.

"You can't w-" John cut himself off sharply, slowly inhaling. Brown eyes became strangely imploring. "You can't waste your life in a relationship you'll never be satisfied in. Damn it, I want you to be happy, even if that means you're not happy with me."

 _Fuck_.

Hearing that from his best friend caused an immense amount of guilt, because John was right. If they were ever to enter a relationship, Alex would always long for something else, and that wasn't fair for John. John's understanding caused a guilty sense of relieve, because it meant the avoidance of direct rejection and Alex felt like shit because of it. Cautiously, "What comes next?"

"The easiest thing to do is pretend it never happened." John said, looking away from Alex and grimacing at the floor. Alex gave a heavy sigh.

"That isn't fair on you." He stated.

"Nah, but after some time off, I'll be fine." John shrugged, trying not to sound too affected by this but failing drastically. John began to back towards the door, which caused Alex to jolt upright.

Rushed, "Shit, John, are we still-"

"Yeah, of course we're still friends." John answered, muscles tensing in surprise, and he turned sharply on his heel to face Alex with wide eyes. "Jesus, Alex, what sort of question is that?"

"Sorry." Alex muttered, sheepishly, feeling his guilt turn nauseous and rise to his throat. John grimaced, backing towards the door frame.

Softly, "There's nothing to be sorry about. You can't choose who you love."

John might have left, but his words remained, hanging in the air.

 

 

**

 

 

Alex awoke from a troubled sleep at half five in the morning, feeling like hell. The nervousness and guilt boiled over from last night and into the dawn, despite logically knowing that he had no direct reason to feel bad. He sent a cautious message to John, asking how he was, and was unsurprised to recieve no response whatsoever. For something to do, he prepared for the day ahead, reading and rereading his argument and trying not to think of how he's probably lost his best friend.

Regardless, he tried to form a smile on his face that was so painfully fake he promptly gave up. Without a word, he made his way into work. Hercules seemed to be waiting for him and as he went through the building he was joined. As lightly as possible, Hercules inquired, "So, John told you?"

"Do you think we'll still be friends?" Alex said in lieu of confirmation. Hercules sighed heavily.

"If you want to be friends with him, then yeah. It's up to you." Hercules answered painfully honest. At least, hearing this from someone else caused him to get a sense of certainty and purpose. "Alex, I'm sorry. It was harsh of me to tell John, but it needed to happen."

"I wish soulmates didn't exist." Alex muttered, gritting his teeth and scuffing the heel of his shoe against the shoe. Hercules gave a huff of agreement. "It'd be so much easier.

"It's just a name, Alex. That's all it is." Hercules reasoned, and he was right. It was just a name, but damn if it didn't grate on his nerves. They walked together to the cabinet meeting, the quiet between them comfortable until Aaron Burr opted to join them. Then, the silence became incredibly awkward.

They entered the cabinet room. Lafayette glanced up, smiling brightly as he and Hercules walked towards him. Evidently, Lafayette had no idea what had happened, and his mood was therefore unaffected. Alex and Hercules exchanged looks, deciding simultaneously against telling him just now. 

The rest of the office trailed into the room, and the cabinet gradually grew in noise. Lafayette struck up a conversation that mostly fell between him and Hercules, since Alex was busy glancing at the doorway like a fucking idiot. Alex watched as Madison entered surprisingly without Jefferson, and seven minutes later, Washington joined. He did a brief roll call, pausing when Jefferson's name went unanswered.

Most of the room glanced between Alex and James Madison.

"Oh! That!" Madison gave an awkward laugh, too light to be fully convincing. Madison cleared his throat, offering a grin that didn't meet eyes. "Well, I'd like to know about why he isn't here. Since I don't know. Like, at all."

For some reason, Alex felt like Madison wasn't being fully honest.

Regardless, the meeting progressed, albeit rather strangely, as ever since Jefferson had gained full-time employment, almost every meeting -regardless of the topic - dissolved into a bitter argument between Alex and Jefferson. The meeting was slow to start, and both Lee and Adams were trying to make up for Jefferson's absence with an arguably decent result. However, they paled in comparison to the combined efforts of all of the present Federalists. Madison seemed too distracted to properly settle, only occasionally making a thought provoking statement that took Alex a few seconds to refute.

"Romantic partners should be by _choice_." Alex repeated impatiently for what felt like the millionth time. "Instead of wasting money on a financially stable couple, we need to be helping those without homes, or those that actually need the money."

Naturally, Lee would try and bring up divorce rate comparisons between soulmates and unbonded couples - as though Alex's current issue was with soulmates instead of handing out money for no logical reason.

The meeting ended a few hours earlier than usual - and Alex was beginning to get frustrsted. He could trace this feeling to the night before, with John's statement and Alex's responses and him lacking a decent output.

So, as soon as the meeting dragged to a tired halt, Alex headed straight to Jefferson's office, purposeful and direct. As expected, the damn bastard was in his office, calm as anything, as though he didn't didn't miss one of the most important meetings of the year.

"Jefferson!" Alex snapped, eyes narrowed. Jefferson sighed loudly, mutteing something under his breath as he turned to face Alex properly. Jefferson raised an eyebrow, idly shifting an open wine bottle in his hands. "Wait, wait, wait - did you  _skip_  a cabinet meeting to get  _drunk_  in your office?"

"Of course not, Hamilton." Jefferson scoffed, rolling his eyes. He added significantly, "I'm _on the way_ to getting drunk."

Alex stared at Jefferson for a long time. Jefferson stared back, yet again arching an eyebrow. Alex's aggravation increased tenfold, and he began to pace up and down the office for a non-violent, physical outlet. Jefferson watched him with mild interest but overall seemed apathetic. Finally Alex turned sharply to face Jefferson and he snapped. "Sometimes I really fucking hate you."

Something in Jefferson's demeanour froze up completely, before Jefferson attempted a lax grin and raised his wine bottle in mock salute. "Join the club, we've got jackets."

Alex glowered, resuming his pacing. 

Jefferson resumed watching him carefully.

"Why didn't you bother to show up at the meeting?" Alex demanded, because he would sure as hell get answers, even if it killed him. Jefferson didn't reply, so Alex fixed him with a steely glare that didn't even remotely affect him.

"A few reasons." Jefferson mused. "I don't like the shape of the windows. The ceiling is a bit too high. One time,  I saw a spider in there. I don't like Aaron Burr. I prefer to try and get drunk instead of talking. Oh, and the main one - I don't like being in the same room as my soulmate."

"Your soulmate is in the office?" Alex asked, stunned out of his anger. He immediately tried to think of as many people as possible - mostly female, since Jefferson was ambiguous on his sexuality and Alex didn't particularly want to presume.

"You have a lot of faith in my social life outside of work." Jefferson retorted, ignoring Alex's question completely. Alex had no idea why this was so interesting - he didn't know the soulmates of Lafayette or Hercules, but Alex would hazard a guess on the reason for his interest being the fact that Jefferson's soulmate had not only rejected him, but was in the same office.

"Oh." Alex stated simply. He glanced down at Jefferson's (still black) cuff - and accidentally being too obvious. Jefferson kept his hand where it was, but looking obviously agitated him, judging by how he squared his jaw.

"You've got that look in your eyes." Jefferson stated flatly. Alex blinked, bemused, as Jefferson continued, "It's the same look you get when you're planning a comeback. You're going to do something stupid, arent you?"

Alex, in fact, was.

The best chance he had to distract himself from thoughts of John and thoughts of soulmates was by pissing off the man he disliked most. Content with his new plan, Alex gave a jaunty little wave. "See you later, Thomas."

The response was immediate. "Don't call me Thomas!"

"Whatever you say, Thomas." Alex replied from over his shoulder, making his way to his own office area. Alex could feel Jefferson's glare follow him for a few seconds.

"You're insufferable." Jefferson scowled, loud enough for Alex to hear. Alex grinned, and called,

"No, I'm Alex."

 

 

**

 

 

"Is this punishment?" Jefferson asked the world at large after the third consecutive day of Alex opting to piss Jefferson off as much as humanly possible. Alex didn't answer, continuing to click his pen loudly. "What did I do in my past life to deserve this torment?"

"You were probably your usual self, Thomas." Alex helpfully answered, sounding blithely cheerful, which gained another fierce glare. 

"Just shut up and let me work." Jefferson scowled, before resuming whatever he was doing on his laptop. Alex tapped the space bar as loudly as possible, and he was glad - for once - that it was of particularly shitty quality.

Jefferson looked like he was going to set fire to either Alex, Alex's laptop, or himself. To help Jefferson decide, Alex began clicking his mouse loudly. "You're short, Hamilton. I can easily throw you out the window."

"Go ahead." Alex offered, gesturig at the window uncaringly. "Then, when I'm dead, I'll come back and haunt you." For once, Jefferson considered his words and wisely decided against it.

The surprisingly familiar silence settled between them and Alex decided to reject the idea of frustrating Jefferson purposefully - since doing it by accident was far too much fun. However, just when it seemed like Jefferson was going to snap at Alex, James Madison skidded into the office. "Thomas, I - _oh_. You've gained a friend?"

"More like a gremlin." Jefferson corrected, sounding far too tired. He glanced up with a mock-plea written on his face. "Make him leave me alone, James."

Madison looked quite unsure.

He glanced between Alex and Jefferson, as though there was something he needed to work out. Slowly, "Why are you here?"

"Avoiding the idea of soulmates." Alex replied cheerfully. Jefferson sighed, grimacing slightly at the mention of soulmates, whilst Madison just stared at him for a long, long time.

"Oh my God." Madison whispered, looking at the ceiling in dismay. "Oh my God. Oh, Thomas - Jesus Christ."

Alex supposed that avoiding the idea of soulmates with someone who had an unrequited bond was rather harsh and could be frowned upon, but not bad enough to warrant this reaction.

"He went to a Catholic school." Jefferson supplied flatly, noticing Alex's bewildered expression.

Alex couldn't hold back the laugh that escaped, but he tried to cover it up by conveniently developing a coughing fit. This didn't work for a second with Jefferson and Madison, but all that mattered was the fact that he tried. Madison muttered something in French to Jefferson, and Jefferson replied similarly.

Alex decided that, completely unrelated to any of the current events, learning French would be an excellent idea. He struck up a conversation with Lafayette over email, and proceeded to be spammed with roughly seven emails that almost completely consisted of emoticons and capital letters.

At least he didn't use comic sans.

This gave Alex an idea.

He typed out an email to Jefferson (taking care to use his first name), politely inquiring as to what he and Madison were discussing, equipped with random capitalization, a long string of emoticons, and all wrapped up in the king of all fonts.

When he pressed send, he resumed watching Jefferson and Madison interact in French, deciding to create his own version of their conversation in his mind. The current tone was quite tense, so Alex guessed that they were arguing whether water was wet.

However, when Madison seemed to give up his side of the argument, Alex began to get impatient. He wondered if he should resend the email, but Jefferson finally answered.

"It's none of your buisness. And seriously, _comic sans_? How _old_ are you?"

"Young and hip enough to use that font." Alex replied primly, and trying not to be offended when Jefferson muttered something about him being middle-aged. "What, is my modern lingo too rad for you squares?"

Jefferson made the sound of someone dying. He placed his head on his desk, looking to the world like a man who was done. "Congratulations, Hamilton. You've finally done it. You've finally destroyed my soul."

"Knew I'd get there eventually." Alex replied cheerfully. Jefferson straightened his slumped posture to fix Alex a stony glower. Rather distantly, Alex supposed that Jefferson could easily be considered handsome. He had nice, attractive eyes with so many varied shades Alex couldn't hope to name them all. His cheekbones were sharp, hair incredibly soft looking, and lips so damn kissable, and Alex _wondered_ what-

"Nope." Alex announced, standing up so suddenly his laptop did a graceless crash to the floor. He neglected to retrieve it, trying to salvage the last of his dignity, before walking to Burr's office. Hercules would ask too many questions, and Lafayette would find out, one way or another.

Rather dramatically, he flopped onto Burr's (thankfully carpeted) floor and stayed there, unmoving.

"Please ignore him, Mr Mercer." Burr said in a resigned voice. "He just - does that sometimes."

He half-listened to Mercer and Burr discuss types of paper, allowing it to form some sort of background noise. He tried not to think of Jefferson, with his black cuff, or John, who still hadn't replied to his text.

Changing his name and moving to a remote part of Wales seemed to be far too much hassle. Even if only he knew about the ( _second, since when did his mind turn into a traitor?_ ) slip-up once again involving Jefferson.

Why was everything shit in his life to do with Jefferson?

Alex would ask the man himself, but he was busy avoiding him. The next day, he entered work to find his laptop surprisingly markless and wearing a purple post-it note that merely had a neat question mark scrawled on it.

It was only when he had suddenly developed the habit of lunging into the nearest office whenever he saw Jefferson or Madison approaching did he realise that he spent more damn time with his enemy than two of his closest friends.

"Is that normal?" He asked Burr, who sighed deeply to the point where it sounded as though his soul had left his body. Burr was unlucky enough to be someone Alex knew relatively well and have his office placed dead centre of the corridor. This meant that Alex would spend quite a lot of his day there.

"For you? Yes." Burr answered tersely, fingers impatiently _tap, tap, tapping_ against an ash desk. "For normal people? No way in hell."

Alex displayed his magnanimity by opting to ignore the insult. "I think I _really_ have something wrong with me."

"I'm not going to argue with you." Burr muttered, still tapping his fingers against his desk. Alex hummed in consideration, waiting for a few more minutes before throwing open Burr's door and sprinting down to Lafayette's office.

The office was completely dark.

Feeling a vague sense of foreboding, he carefully reached over to the switch and pressed down with a small _click_. He was right to be alarmed; Lafayette's spinny chair had it's back facing Alex until it didn't.

"I've been expecting you, Mister Hamilton." Lafayette announced, mimicking an American accent and missing the mark by many,  _many_ miles. Naturally, because this was Lafayette, in place of a cat was a fucking baguette.

"Hercules never should have let you watch that movie." Alex lamented. Lafayette was unbothered by his negative musings, as he began to spin in dramatic circles, slightly decreasing the intimidating scene he was going for.

"You've been avoiding Thomas Jefferson."  Lafayette mused, stamping his foot down to pause his chair spinning, overestimating slightly, and awkwardly shimmying until he fully faced Alex.

"For one day!" Alex retorted, indignant. Lafayette raised an eyebrow, so he continued, "Jesus, it's not as though I've immigrated to Britain."

"Why _Britain_? The _weather_..." Lafayette dramatically shuddered, shaking his head in disapproval. " _Mon dieu_..."

"It was just an example." Alex said, crossing his arms. Lafauette stared at him for a handful of seconds, seemingly about to reply before he decided to resume spinning in dizzying circles. "Were you expecting me?:

"Not really." Lafayette shrugged. "I just like doing this."

"Oh God." Hercules muttered from behind Alex, causing him to startle. Naturally, this sent Lafayette into a fit of loud laughter. "You're not going to do _this_ again."

" _Non_ , of course not." Lafayette smiled, trying to subtly hide the baguette and failing. "However, I do believe our Alexander is trying to avoid Thomas Jefferson?"

Hercules seemed to choke on air. Relatively alarmed, he asked, " _Why_?"

 _Oh, fuck_.

Alex couldn't just outright say it - that would just be asking for Lafayette's laughter and Hercules to look at him with an expression that meant, quite plainly, he knew better. However, he couldn't directly lie to his friends. His only option was to ignore the question and gain a fascination in Lafayette's furnishings. Unfortunately, heat was beginning to rise to his face.

" _Mon dieu_!" Lafayette exclaimed, loudly clapping his hands together and standing up so quickly it sent his chair reeling backwards. "My son is developing an actual crush!"

"Fuck off!" Alex scoffed, feeling more color rise to his face and _wow_ , that was one way to _undeniably_ prove himself to be truthful. "I'm not interested in that bastard!"

There was a pause at Alex's sudden outburst. Hercules was looking at Alex for a long time, seemingly questioning his existence, whereas Lafayette appeared as though all of the varied festive holidays had happened at once.

Quietly, Alex added, "Don't call me son."


	3. High Hopes (Don't Give Up, It's a Little Complicated)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> strangely enough this chapter title is both a song and a message to readers :)

Rationally, Alex knew he could only go so long in avoiding someone. It wasn't as though he lacked resolve; quite the contrary, Alex was nothing but reluctant to finally have an awkward discussion with his sworn enemy after he imagined himself kissing him ( _twice_ ). It didn't matter that Jefferson would never, ever about it happening - Alex would know, and that was bad enough.

Regardless of whatever was going on, it certainly wasn't a crush, contrary to the sheer amount of innuendos and insinuations exchanged between Hercules and Lafayette. He was too damn old for developing _crushes_ but he was allowed to have eyes - he was allowed to notice how physically attractive someone was, and it didn't mean anything. Nothing like that was happening, even if Alex was beginning to appreciate his voice, how it could dip from normal to low and smooth when he was trying to act particularly persuasive, or notice how _softly_ he could look at Alex.

" _Oui_ , not a crush." Lafayette agreed, not sounding entirely convinced. Alex scowled, crossing his arms. Suddenly, he wished that Burr would somehow arrive and introduce the awkward silence unique only to him instead of this. Unfortunately, Burr revolved around bad timing, so he was given no such luck.

"It's not!" Alex snapped, far too defensively, considering the look of slight reprimand Hercules was giving Alex in response. Lafayette, however, didn't seem to notice, as he was busy gleefully spinning in circles, morphing into a confusing blur.

"Alex, I'd love to believe you..." Hercules began, giving him a slightly mischievous smile whilst still ambitiously endevouring to maintain a calculating facade. "The evidence points otherwise."

"What evidence?" Alex demanded, gesturing harshly in front of him before crossing his arms. Even he could acknowledge that he was only slightly overreacting. At this, both Lafayette and Hercules laughed loudly but Alex was too busy being offended to join in. "There is no evidence. None."

" _D'accord_ , we believe you." Lafayette stated innocently and Alex promptly regretted ever being friends with him. Lafayette laughed harder at Alex's palpable agitation, but eventually stopped with a yelp when Alex sent a well-aimed kick in his direction.

"Has John talked to either of you?" Alex asked, suddenly curious. Hercules's grin died on his face, and Alex cringed, mentally congratulating himself for being so smooth and subtle.

"Getting him to shut up is the trick." Lafayette answered, halting his movements with a slight frown, glancing inbetween Alex and Hercules. Alex exchanged significant looks with Hercules, and was given a slight nod in response.

So, Alex explained, occasionally gaining interjections from Hercules.

By the end of it, Lafayette was grimacing slightly, though he looked deeply unsurprised. He thinned his lips slightly, mostly in a sign of evaluation, before shrugging. "It had to be done. _Ce n'est pas amusant,_ but it had to be done."

"Should I message him again?" Alex questioned, fishing his phone from his pocket and proceeding to turn it over in his hands. With just one look, an entire conversation seemed to pass between Lafayette and Hercules, before both looked back at him. 

"I don't think that's a good idea." Hercules said, uneasy, before getting the nod of confirmation from Lafayette. "I mean, you know John. He needs space after shit like this. I think you should wait for him to message you back."

"Wonderful." Alex muttered, returning his phone to his pocket and sighing. He had always hated waiting, and now was no exception. "Looks like I'm going to have to take a page out of Burr's book. Talk less. Smile more."

"Dear God, no." Hercules complained, at the exact same time Lafayette exclaimed, "One is bad enough."

"I'll have you know that Aaron Burr is my best friend." Alex took care to make himself look as offended as possible on Burr's behalf, equipped with placing his palm flat against his chest. "We stay up late, paint our nails and talk about boys."

"Why wasn't I invited?" Lafayette demanded, crossing his arms close against his chest. Alex flipped him off, and smiled at the scandalized look given by both of his friends, and Hercules cheerfully Alex informed him that he had raised Alex better than that.

Shortly after this, however, Alex had decided that in order for him to become a remotely functioning human person, he would require copious quantities of coffee. Lafayette started dramatically complaining about this, so Alex cheerfully started to discuss his adventures with Aaron Burr, many revolving around the repetitive explorations of Staples.

Lafayette agreed to journey with him to retrieve coffee since he would prefer to do this than die of boredom, and Hercules followed after them. However, the word was against him, and as soon as he stepped foot out of Lafayette's office, he narrowly avoided walking into Jefferson by placing his hand against his chest, reflections far quicker than his mind. 

He froze, distantly picking up on the sound of Hercules choking on his own laughter, but all he could focus on was the warm press of muscle against his palm, or the smooth touch of expensive fabric.

His brain caught up after a few seconds, and he recoiled from the touch as though he had been burned.

"Have fun!" Lafayette called, before darting back into his office and dragging Hercules with him like the _absolute_ traitors they were. With second considerations, at that moment, Burr genuinely seemed like a far better friend then both of them combined. To add more evidence to his, he knew his friends too well, and was aware that chances were high in them trying to listen to the following conversation.

"You dropped your laptop on the floor, then ran out of my office, and didn't look back." Jefferson stated, voice smooth and eyebrow raised in question. Something in Alex's chest shifted, a strange mix of uncomfortable anticipation that was entirely unfamiliar.

"I have a habit of doing that." Alex tried to play it off. A rather loud and undignified snort of laughter sounded from behind Lafayette's closed office door. Jefferson and Alex simultaneously shared looks, before both walked up the corridor, away from Lafayette and Hercules. In another life, Alex could imagine them both deciding to become the world's worst spies.

"So I've heard." Jefferson eventually drawled, continuing the conversation and glancing down at Alex with a vaguely amused smirk. "Burr has informed me that he thinks you need therapy."

"So does he." Alex muttered, putting his hands in his pockets so he didn't start fussing with his cuff. As a response or lack thereof, Jefferson gave an ambiguous hum that could be interpreted as many different things. The walk continued in relative quiet, Alex hyperaware of how  _close_ Jefferson was.

"I think this is the longest we've ever gone without arguing." Jefferson mused, pausing outside of his office and crossing his arms. Alex also paused, trying to keep his eyes strictly away from Jefferson whilst also not trying to make doing so appear to obvious.

"Want to break that streak?" Alex inquired, grinning slightly for a reason beyond him. Jefferson didn't answer for a long time, so Alex risked a glance, only to find himself being put under immense scrutiny.

"Not particularly, no." Jefferson answered, just bearly smiling and holding eye contact for a few seconds before he looked away. Jefferson opened his office door, walked in, and after casting a considerably significant look at Alex, left it open.

After a second or so of calculated pause, Alex trailed after him.

"Any particular reason you ran like you'd seen your own ghost?" Jefferson asked, his back to Alex. He frowned, moving so that he could face Jefferson but vaguely regretted it when he could see the sunlight that was being cast against Jefferson, bringing out melted amber in Jefferson's eyes.

In moments like these, when it was just Alex and Jefferson in the same space, Alex could barely think past how dizzying his scent seemed, warm and masculine and Jefferson.

"I remembered something." Alex heard himself talking, the lie unfamiliar and bland. Jefferson looked at him for a long time, so underwhelmed by his response that Alex hastily backtracked. "I mean, it's a bit of remembering, but also noticing, so technically I wasn't lying."

This seemed to gain Jefferson's interest. "Noticing what?"

 _How much I want to kiss you_.

That thought leapt unbidden, entirely unwelcome, and Alex vehemently cursed the warmth rushing to his face because he wasn't a _teenager_ anymore. Unfortunately, Alex wasn't able to turn on his heel and walk  _the fuck_ away from both Jefferson and his mind, since he was trying to explain why he had walked away in a previous, almost identical situation. Alex decided that he didn't particularly like his thoughts anymore.

"Well, that's quite a good question." Alex tried to dodge direct answers, or at least stall long enough to piece together a decent half-truth. Jefferson glared at him slightly, seemingly trying to communicate something to Alex that he couldn't quite grasp, before sighing, exasperated.

"Jesus Christ, Alex, if you don't want to say, then just tell me." Alex blinked, stunned. He tried to recover at the use of his first name - equipped with him being told something that was a good escape for a situation he didn't want. This was not something he expected from Thomas Jefferson, Virginian bastard and stubborn twat. Jefferson misplaced his surprise, elaborating with a terse, "I won't press the matter if it bothers you so much."

Alex was still reeling from the shock - Jefferson had said his first name, without mocking or insulting him - so when Jefferson looked at him, rather expectant, Alex cleared his throat. Rather dimly, he stated, "You just said my name."

 _Fucking genius_.

Alex truly felt as though he had earned his degree in English literacy from that statement.

"So?" Jefferson asked, brows furrowing. He stared down at Alex for a while, causing Alex's veins to spark against pinpricks of electricity. Trying to calm a quick heart, Alex steadily breathed in, and that was _genuinely_ one of the worst ideas he had introduced today, because briefly, all he could focus on was Jefferson. He sharply glanced away, mentally cursing himself, before returning his gaze. Jefferson appeared as though trying to work out something, before frowning and redirecting his gaze. "You use my name all the time."

"Don't try to pretend that's the same thing." Alex leaned forward so that they were a mere handful of centimetres away, drunk off of his scent, and mused, "We're friends now, you know?"

"Because I used your first name?" Jefferson raised an eyebrow, though Alex noticed how he didn't shy away from the sudden closeness. "I don't think that's how friendship works, Hamilton."

"Alex." He corrected, and looked expectantly at Jefferson until he muttered something about Alex being frustratingly petty. Normally, Alex would be offended, but currently, he couldn't quite bring himself to care.

"Alex." Jefferson repeated softly, sending a private thrill through him that he couldn't explain. Something had somehow shifted, and suddenly everything was too much and not enough. Alex felt like all of his senses had been magnified, and it felt as though Jefferson being close to him felt as though he was being burned. Almost experimentally, he placed a hand against Jefferson's chest. He could feel a pulse, a heart hammering in sync with his own. His throat felt dryer, breath slightly faster, and all he could focus on was Jefferson.

Jefferson, who made no move to back away from the touch. Jefferson, who was watching Alex carefully with pupils darkened, inhaling and exhaling steadily, and this lulled Alex into a sense of security. Alex was frozen to the ground, feeling a heavy weight settle along his chest. He couldn't look away from Jefferson, from his eyes, and slowly, his gaze slided down to rest upon his lips.

"Hey, can I ask you about - oh, good morning, Alexander."

_Aaron Burr and bad timing._

Alex quickly recoiled, almost stumbling at how suddenly he moved, and developed an intense fascination with the floor. Alex could still feel Jefferson's eyes on him, sharp and burning. "Good morning, Aaron."

Jefferson's eyes remained on him for what felt like several minutes but was most likely little more than a handful of seconds. He faced Burr. "What do you want to ask me about?"

"My stapler has been acting up." Burr offered hesitantly, seeminly sensing that he had disrupted something, yet obviously being unable to place it.

Alex was suddenly this close to setting fire to all the staplers in the world. Jefferson frowned, most likely thinking along the same lines. Burr was once again glancing between them, as though he was searching for more clues. "Right, bring it in, and I'll see what I can do."

Burr gave a slight smile, still glancing between them, before he backed away. Jefferson turned to face Alex, light eyes fixed on his face, almost daring him to look away.

Alex didn't.

"You shouldn't avoid me, Alex." Jefferson's voice had smoothly lowered, eyes flicking searchingly across his face, and for a second, Alex felt uncomfortably vulnerable. "Avoiding people solves nothing."

"If you avoid Burr, you also get to avoid his damn staplers." Alex replied lightly, almost as though he was testing the water. He felt relieved when the corners of Jefferson's lips quirked upwards. He returned the slight smile, before opting to head towards the door. Jefferson tracked his movements, but did nothing to stop him. He passed Burr, and headed straight for Lafayette's office. In the brief walk, not only had he realised how much of an idiot he had just acted, but now, much to his horror, whatever was happening looked like a goddamn crush.

It still definitely wasn't a crush. It was just, now, Alex could see how it would possibly appear like he had a crush. Lafayette flung open the door before his fingers could even brush across it, grin ecstatic and eyebrows trying their damndest to reach the ceiling. Alex levelled him with a fierce glare. This did not bother Lafayette.

"Jesus, Alex, you look sunburnt." Hercules helpfully commented for where he was settled. Alex scowled, feeling more blood rise to his face.

Lafayette laughed, sounding delighted, and clapped his hands loudly together. "Did anything happen?"

"Nope." Alex replied tersely. Lafayette looked genuinely downtrodden at this, to the point where Alex quickly amended, "Something almost happened, but Burr had an issue with his stapler-"

"That wasn't an innuendo, Laf." Hercules looked at his partner, grinning fondly at the childish humor Lafayette had just displayed.

"-so Thomas had to fix it." Alex finished, trying not to throw something at an overly-giggly Lafayette. Hercules seemed to approve of his stunning display of restraint, and awarded it by nudging Lafayette

"Thomas, huh?" Lafayette asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Alex huffed, deciding that he didn't need to have two supposed friends embark on a perilous journey for coffee, leaving on his own.

 

  
**

 

  
Later that day, Alex recieved a message back from John, who informed him that he had travelled to Spain. The conversation that continued was conventional; Alex asked how the weather was, John compared him and his awkwardness to Burr, and suddenly Alex knew that he hadn't lost his best friend.

He slept easier that night.

 

  
**

 

 

James Madison was on a mission.

It was obvious the moment he stepped into the White House. Sure, Madison was acting casual, but it was obvious in how watchful he was being. Madison was observant most of the time, but when he was quietly watching people in the debriefing room, alarm bells were chiming for almost all.

Alex proceeded to do his best to stay out of Madison's way, because James Madison on a mission was far, far worse than Elizabeth Schuyler on a mission - primarily due to how subtle he was, and he could have you spilling someone's secrets and not even know it with a few choiced words. Alex also wasn't entirely sure what Madison was trying to achieve, and this made him far more dangerous.

Unfortunately, Thomas wasn't sure either. As soon as Alex entered his office, Thomas glanced up and answered his question before he could ask it. "I don't know what he's doing, either."

Alex grinned at the greeting or lack thereof, knowing full well that he should be mildly irked at having Thomas (correctly) assume something about him within a few seconds. "Have you been asked that a lot?"

"Seventeen times and counting." Thomas replied dryly. His eyes followed Alex as he walked past him. "Here to drain all the happiness from my life?"

"Why else would I be here?" Alex retorted cheerfully, settling on the window ledge and balancing his laptop. He logged on, before looking up at Thomas.

"To take advantage of my knowledge on staples." Thomas replied simply, as though Alex would be interested in that. Alex gave a derisive huff, which caused Thomas to give him a look of mock warning. "Are you saying that my wisdom is lacking?"

"I didn't say anything." Alex quipped idly, eyes flicking across his desktop before sending a grin at Thomas. "If you assumed that would be my reply, then maybe it says far more about you than it does about me."

"I can't tolerate your ignorance." Thomas scowled, crossing his arms. Alex bit back a soft smile, only just managing to do so, but his smile was still carried in his eyes. Thomas offered him a light smile.

"An old man muttering about the ignorant youth." Alex muttered under his breath, shaking his head in mock disappointment, causing a slightly surprised laugh from Thomas.

"First of all, you goddamn bastard, I'm four years older than you, not several fucking decades." Jefferson began, sounding deeply offended though he appeared far too amused to be genuinely annoyed. They began to argue, both neglecting their work in favor of seeing who could outwit the other and coming to a sharp deadlock. Thomas rather loudly decided that he had won.

Alex challenged him to a fight. Jefferson then accepted, standing to his full height, and Alex only just noticed how short he was. Alex then decided that it wasn't fair for Thomas to fight him when he had a long past of fights, and politely informed him of this fact.

Thomas thought it was complete bullshit. The argument halted to a pause when Lafayette burst into the office, looking incredibly pleased with himself and hardly blinking at Alex being there. "I know why James is on a war path."

"Enlighten me." Thomas drawled.

"Well, Burr said that Peggy said she saw James talking to Charles Lee about discovering someone's soulmate." Lafayette's grin was bright with excitement and pride at discovering something so quickly.

"That's really not like him." Thomas mused, frowning slightly. Lafayette mirrored the expression and Alex felt like the only person in the entire White House who didn't actually care. "Any idea on who it's about?"

"I was hoping you'd tell me." Lafayette replied, flashing a bright smile. The effect was unsurprisingly lost on Thomas, who gave Lafayette a doubtful look. Lafayette sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "Worth a try, mon ami."

"James is very secretive." Thomas responded, raising an eyebrow. "He tells me fuck-all until whatever was happening is over."

"He doesn't tell me anything, full stop." Lafayette muttered with a strangely grim expression, drawing his blazer closer to himself and popping open several circular buttons before refastening them. He glanced at Alex, trying to read his expression before giving a slight grin. "Your office is empty all the time now, Alex. Burr is starting to wonder if it's haunted."

"The ghosts of long lost staples." Thomas added solemnly, which earned a bright laugh from Alex.

"If you tell that to Burr, I swear, he will freak the fuck out." Alex insisted, eyes wide and earnest. Thomas rolled his eyes, looking vaguely fond, and damn if that didn't do something to his pulse.

His fall from grace was on a Tuesday morning, when the sun was cast high in the sky. Despite the brightness, there was a gentle touch of frost in the air. The day had begun normally, with him heading into work and arriving a little later than usual, and when he dropped by Thomas's office, he noticed that his cuff changed from black to grey and promptly felt his laptop leave his hands and merrily crash to the floor.

Without a word, he was able to maintain his dignity long enough enough him to retrieve his laptop and back out of the room.

What the everloving fuck did that mean?

Google turned up inconclusive, and no amount of swearing at it would solve anything. As he got desperate - sinking to the sad, low levels of Bing for help - Lafayette walked through Alex's office, casual as anything.

"Alex, can I make a bet?" He asked, unusually calm, though it was obvious he was biting back a knowing smile. At Alex's noncommittal mutter, fixed on the open page, Lafayette continued. "You're online trying to search up what a grey cuff means."

Alex halted in his aggressive scrolling, slowly looking up, and actually thought through what the hell he was currently doing. Then, he flushed with embarrassment and stated, "I might have discovered that I am developing a bit of an issue."

Lafayette beamed at him.

Three minutes later, with three fresh and mildly scolding coffee mugs against his desk and Hercules being a new addition, Alex began. "I am willing to admit that I might be harbouring a slight interest in Thomas."

"No shit, Sherlock." Hercules said dryly, taking a sip from his mug before grimacing at how warm it was. Alex huffed loudly, trying not to point out that it was surprising for him, and at his mild display of drama, Hercules flipped him off. He was smiling, though, so that softened the blow.

"Slight?" Lafayette muttered, shaking his head with overt disagreement. He tapped Alex's arm in sympathy, musing, "Oh, mon cher, we are far past that, non?"

"No." Alex said firmly. Unfortunately, Alex had considered that possibility, and promptly banned that from happening. It was bad enough he had a slight interest in the man that was supposed to be his enemy, so any further than that, Alex would out right reject.

"Lafayette, if it took him this long..." Hercules muttered, watching Alex carefully. Alex glared, mildly offended that he was being talked about as though he wasn't there.

"I know..." Lafayette agreed, also staring at Alex. Even as they spoke to each other, neither glanced away from Alex's face.

"Patience." Hercules added importantly.

"One month, then I'm stepping in." Lafayette warned.

"Two months."

"One and a half."

"Okay, and I'll help."

Sometimes Alex really, truly wished for new friends. He glanced between Lafayette and Hercules, narrowing his eyes as he did so. "If you're talking about setting me up with him..."

"We are." Lafayette confirmed, hardly batting an eye. Despite knowing Lafayette for several years, his bluntness was still unexpected.

Alex considered protesting, but he wasn't entirely sure whether they were being serious - with Lafayette, it was always difficult to tell - and regardless of what Alex said in response, chances are Lafayette would ignore him.

"So, what are you going to do about your slight interest?" Hercules asked, brows furrowed and shoulders tensed. Alex immediately recognised this as his 'I'm going to help as much as possible whether you like it or not' stance.

"What do you think?" Alex replied, raising an eyebrow. There was no way in hell Alex would ever try to peruse this. Thomas was still loud, arrogant, annoying, and Alex would never admit anything to anyone else besides two of his closest friends.

"Well-" Lafayette began. "Actually, on second thoughts, please don't tell me what you think." Alex interrupted, grimacing. Lafayette grinned, evidently pleased that Alex had correctly guessed where the concersation was headed.

"I'm not going to do anything about it." At this, both Lafayette and Hercules sighed. Lafayette looked as though Alex had just mercilessly crushed all of his dreams, whereas Hercules seemed like he was five secinds away from blowing things up.

"What does a grey cuff even mean?" Hercules asked the room at large, staring up at the ceiling. Unlike Alex, who had began to adjust his own cuff, Hercules left his where it was. "Does it even matter who Jefferson's soulmate is?"

"Not really." Lafayette shrugged at the same moment Alex said, "Yes."

Alex was glanced at sharply by two different pairs of eyes, so he quickly elaborated. "That bastard is too traditional. He takes this shit seriously."

"I guess." Hercules muttered in eventual agreement, sighing again. Lafayette started a lighter conversation, one that mostly involved what their plans were after work. Naturally, Alex had no plans save from working, so he kept quiet and proceeded to double check that all of his laptop functions were working.

 

  
**

 

  
The following morning, however, things had returned to the usual pattern. Thomas still bore his grey cuff, mystifying the office at large. Lafayette, despite having a ridiculous amount of determination that Alex would mock if he didn't share it, wasn't able to discover anything about the color switch. He was, however, able to discover why Madison had seemed to be on a war path - for some reason, Madison was trying to find John. Naturally, due to the fact that he is in Spain, the search decisively didn't last long.

He spent a half hour wasting time with Lafayette and Hercules, during which they exercised productivity by staring elastic band fights (and Alex as minorly regretting this, since Lafayette had a sniper-like accuracy and they hurt). This crashed to a sharp stop when Alex was teamed-up on, and lost so badly Lafayette kept on sending Alex sympathetic looks.

He planned spent the day trying to piss Thomas off as much as possible, mostly because he could, but also because Thomas seemed to enjoy arguing with Alex when there was nothing at stake.

However, unlike the previous days, Alex couldn't even attempt to focus on work. Whenever he tried, he would glance at Thomas, focusing on the soft curve of his lips, or the mixed light of his eyes. Thomas always seemed to notice, and each time Alex was caught looking at him, an eyebrow was raised.

"Take a picture, Alex, it'll last longer." Thomas muttered after roughly the fifth time. Alex felt immensely stupid, and attacked the task of a proposition for a new financial plan with renewed vigour. Before he did so, however, Alex could see how Thomas's cheeks darkened slightly and his gaze was quite decisively on anywhere but Alex.

Thomas was _blushing_.

This thought distracted him once more, and he glanced towards Thomas, only to find that he was being watched in return. Alex blinked, unsure how to act. He maintained eye contact, feeling his throat run dry and tried not to feel like an idiot - Thomas was just looking at him, yet he was reacting like this. Alex wanted to look away but he couldn't bring himself to do so. Alex glanced down at Thomas's lips for a lingering second, before meeting Thomas's eyes. There was no way Thomas could misinterpret this as anything other than what it was.

Quietly, Alex asked. "Have you ever wanted to do something really stupid?"

"All the time." Thomas gave a wry smile, as though Alex was missing something key in this conversation. Alex supposed that this was entirely possible. Alex couldn't think past a heavy fog settled in his mind, or the slow thrum of warmth low in his chest. "There's a reason we don't do stupid things."

"I want to kiss you." Alex said, heart beating so quickly it felt like one, continual movement. His cheeks slowly heated up, though he wasn't entirely sure what he was doing, or what he was saying.

Thomas looked at the floor as he answered. "I know."

Alex wasn't sure what to make of this.

He tried to read Thomas's expression, and find out what he was thinking, but couldn't quite read it - it seemed that Thomas was equally unsure. His eyes remained on Alex for several seconds. "Fuck it."

Alex didn't have long to think before soft, warm lips were pressed gently against Alex's own. His breath hitched sharply in his throat, his hands moving to hold onto his shoulders

The touch was feather-light, and far more delicate than Alex could ever imagine. Thomas's hand rested gently against Alex's cheek, hesitant, as though if he was any rougher, it would scare Alex away. It made Alex melt against Thomas, giving a content sigh, trying to hold Thomas closer to him. It felt natural, for them to be this careful when they were so unthinking with words.

When they parted, Alex's breath was heavy, laboured. His chest felt too light, as though a weight had been lifted. Alex tried to steady his breath, hands still resting on firm shoulders, just letting himself live in the moment.

"So pretty..." Thomas muttered, thumb brushing over Alex's cheek. Alex felt color race to his face, and he leaned into the touch. It felt as though the world had melted away and all Alex could feel was Thomas.

It was damn near perfect.

Too soon, Thomas was moving away, and the sudden loss of warmth brought back everything else - who Alex was, his surroundings, and he was beginning to try and work out why Thomas had moved away from him.

Alex couldn't quite believe it had happened. Thomas Jefferson had kissed him and he had enjoyed it. He could barely think past senses, the feel of Thomas's lips against his.

"Well, that happened." Alex announced to the world at large, feeling strangely dazed. He tried to kick himself out of it - he had kissed people before, but he never experienced the high he was getting now.

"I know." Thomas replied, raising an eyebrow, trying to appear collected and untouched by this, but the dilated pupils and flushed cheeks said otherwise. "I was there."

"Just - let me think a second." Alex frowned. Everything seemed too warm, and Thomas's touch felt as though he had been burned. He raked a hand through his hair, trying to make sense of things, but he was too distracted and Thomas looked too inviting. He looked away from soft, pink lips and gestured between him and Thomas. "What does this mean?"

"You have a soulmate to think of." Thomas replied tesely, tightly crossing his arms across his chest. He looked at Alex for a few more seconds, evidently waiting for some sign of agreement, and sighing when he saw none. "This means nothing."

"Thomas." Alex began sharply. "Damn it, haven't you listened to anything I've said? I don't care about some name my wrist."

"Well, I do." Thomas retorted. He looked directly at Alex, gaze unflinching and direct. "I'm not devoting myself to someone if there's so much as a chance they have a soulmate waiting for them. It's unfair to all involved."

"Who's your soulmate?" Alex asked, feeling a vague frustration begin to rise. He tapped his fingers against his phone, feeling impatient and nervous and confused.

Thomas leant against his desk, seeming tired and Alex wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. Thomas exhaled heavily. "I'm not telling you that."

"You're saying that you won't dedicate yourself to someone with a soulmate, yet you have a soulmate of your own." Alex replied. He needed Thomas to understand.

"Are you in love Laurens?" Thomas asked as though this was a reply. Alex blinked, startled at the change of conversation and trying to recover. Evidently, this wasn't quick enough for Thomas, and he continued. "Laurens has your name on his wrist."

"He's a brother to me." Alex said, because John was. John was his best friend and there was nothing the rest of the word - or the idea of soulmates - would permanently hinder it.

Thomas looked at him. "That's a no, then."

When Alex didn't give an immediate disagreement - because Thomas was right, Alex would probably never be in love with John - Thomas seemed to grow more on edge, evidently trying to weigh conflicting facts.

The silence that settled between them felt natural yet despite this Alex was trying to break it. He didn't want to allow this entire situation - of kissing Thomas - to end without closure, or end at all.&;nbsp;"Why do you like the idea soulmates?"

Thomas glanced sharply at Alex, evidently not expecting that line of questioning. He paused, trying to gauge Alex's sincerity, before answering quietly. "It's mostly the stability, and knowing that your soulmate will be there. It's also finding someone to match you, or balance you."

"Why did you look?" Alex asked. Thomas frowned at him, evidently unsure with how to react with this line of conversation.

"Why does anybody look for a soulmate?" Thomas retorted, glancing down at the floor before meeting Alex's eyes. "I'm ready to settle down, Alex. I want someone to share my life with."

Alex blinked, surprised, and he felt something in his chest constrict at how honest Thomas was being. Alex wasn't sure if he wanted to settle down, or find out who his soulmate is - he just wants Thomas to be with him, and that made more sense than a tattoo against skin. "That doesn't have to be your soulmate. Hey, look at Herc and Lafayette - they aren't soulmates, but chances are they're going to get married."

"Alex-" Thomas began, almost in warning, but Alex ignored it.

"It doesn't matter who you date." Alex continued firmly, fixing Thomas an imploring look. "A name shouldn't choose who you love."

"It doesn't." Thomas retorted, defensive, glaring at Alex. Alex arched an eyebrow, trying to look as speculative as possible, and Thomas muttered an insult under his breath in response. Despite this, Alex persisted.

"Then why do you let it?"

"It's a soulmate." Thomas expressed, as though that answered everything. Alex sighed, his frustration quietly ebbing away into exhaustion. "It isn't some fling with a stranger."

"Thomas - I like you." Alex said bluntly, causing Thomas to look sharply at him. He held eye contact. "More than I like most people. I'm about twenty percent sure you like me, too."

Thomas didn't deny anything about that statement, opting to watch Alex with an almost guarded expression, which he took as a good sign. "It isn't that simple."

"Why not?" Alex pressed. Thomas looked at him for a while, as though he was trying to gauge Alex's sincerity before realising that he was completely serious.

Dryly, "Why'd you think?"

"Hey, none of that." Alex glanced at Thomas almost warningly, to which he recieved a considerably rude hand gesture. "We're discussing feelings and shit, like healthy adults."

"Fuck feelings." Thomas replied flatly, and Alex had to bite back a huff of amusement, since he was busy trying to act grown up. "Adulthood is overrate."

"So are soulmates." Alex tried.

The eyebrow of dersion was raised. "Nice try."

A pause settled between them - Alex wasn't going to give up, at least not yet, and Thomas was frustratingly stubborn. "If you ask me out, I will say yes." Thomas eventually sighed, wearily scrubbing the back of his hand against his face. "I need you to understand who you could miss, and I don't want you to resent me for holding you back."

Thomas would say yes.

Alex grinned brightly, before ducking his head and bit down on his lip. "My resentment is reserved for Charles Lee alone. You're safe."

"Thanks." Thomas said flatly, not sounding slightly thankful. Alex stared at Thomas before sighing, sensing that this topic had ended, at least for now.

"Well, we've actually discussed our feelings." Alex offered, which caused Thomas to sigh heavily.

"Don't remind me." He replied, then offered a tiny smile, one that Alex wanted to commit to memory. "I don't really like having feelings."

"I can tell." Alex retorted.

Thomas gave a small huff of amusement, crossing his arms against his chest. He tilted his head slightly to the left, lips forming a smirk that Alex quite firmly told himself was not attractive. "So, I'm taking you out on a date."

"Hey, I asked you out." Alex argued, mostly because he could. There was a vaguely euphoric feel to saying those words, especially since he never thought he would say them - or want to say them, for that matter. "Therefore, I get to take you on said date."

"Fuck off. I'm cooler than you are, and therefore win by default." Thomas retorted. Alex gasped in mock offence, grasping at his heart before he grinned.

"Cooler? As in, you act cold?" Alex inquired, almost mockingly polite. 'Cause I agree."

"On second thoughts, I'm not sure I want to date someone that can't think of good comebacks." Thomas replied, drawing out his words almost lazily, and Alex couldn't help the slow rise of heat from his face.

"Too late." Alex shrugged, which caused Thomas to give him a soft, light smile.

"I promise I'll give this a try, Alex." Thomas muttered, quiet, and that was all Alex could ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Thomas is Alex's soulmate, and vice-versa. I just wanted an AU where they don't need to be soulmates to have Adult Conversations about stuff and finally admit they like eachother. Sorry if you find it disappointing.


End file.
